Sunday, May 4, 2014

Changing Your Way Of Thinking

Posting from my mobile a lot lately so excuse the occasional punctuation mistake or grammatical error. Let's all be honest here, auto correct isn't always friendly and when my thoughts are flowing, I tend to forget to look over and proof read my post. I'm human, I make mistakes.

Sadness is a part of life. For the most part, all of us have experienced sadness at one point in time. And it's extremely easy to focus on what's making you sad, eventually setting you up for a battle with depression. We need to learn how to truck our minds to think differently.

I love human interaction. It allows you to absorb oodles of information that could possibly benefit you in your life.

Talking with my friend Lauren recently, the topic of self improvement came up. And my first reply was "I feel I've come do far, but I can't get past the fact that I love my kids and I miss them terribly. I'm having a hard time living apart from them." Her advice and tips were so monumental and have had almost immediate effects on my overall quality of life.

First off, just because I don't live with my kids anymore doesn't mean I don't love them or I can't love them just the same every day. What it means is, I have to figure out ways to love them every day. So one thing Lauren proposed was to wake up and think to myself "how am I going to love my kids today?" Now this isn't implying that I could wake up and NOT love them, it's just giving me the opportunity to make that love flourish and strengthen. Living apart is hard for any parent, but it's just a challenge to find a new way to express your love.

Asking myself "how" is great. Then what I do with that is answer my question. This can be anything from writing them a letter, to drawing them a picture, buying them new toothbrushes, building a cardboard fort, coloring then a picture. It doesn't have to be buying them a new game system or really spending money, but it's important that it come from the heart.

The few days that I've been practicing this new way of thinking, my mood has not only improved, but people have started to notice that I'm different. I'm smiling, not dwelling on being away from them. I feel as if they are right here with me.

There are so many ways for us to train ourselves to think differently that will improve our quality of lives. You don't have money, and you're constantly saying "I don't have any money." Well, you're not going to get money by complaining about it. "I'm always alone, I wish I had someone to be with." Well that's negative thinking and it's not going to improve. These are just a few examples, but I think you get the point.

Instead of filling your conversations with "I can't," "I never," or something along those lines, try saying "good things happen to me." Say this right when you start feeling down.

For me, I was thinking about my kids and then I got depressed and started thinking about struggling with money or being lonely and then I would spiral downward into a rut that would affect my training, my personal life and my work. Truth is, I have a lot of good around me. I have amazing friends, I just bought my first car, I have an amazing job, and I get to run, bike and swim as often as I want. Let's not forget about my coach who has been a godsend. Being apart of S3 is like being apart of a family.

I'm working on changing the way I think, and I can already see the benefits. I've thought of some simple ways that can help you on your way to improving your life that could also help in your training.

1. Wake up and say to yourself "today is going to be awesome."
2. Think to yourself throughout the day "good things happen to me"
3. Smile often
4. Turn off the negative thoughts
5. Close your eyes and breath

Remember, happiness is a choice. Life can be as good as you want it to be or as bad as you let it.