Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Earned

Originally I thought "wow, a 5k. How does one even train for that?!" Time passes and many miles later I thought "wow a 50k. How does one train for that?!" Funny how things work out. And of course once I got over that hump(literally....I'm sure I'll talk about it), I'm already looking the next big challenge straight in the eyes. 

Here's the thing, I've been running for just over 2 years, training for both triathlon and running to run. I changed the way I approached running ultras and it not only improved my overall performance, but gave me a fresh new look at life. Stay with me here...

I hear a lot of people talk about training runs and having to go out for an hour run or what have you. I've never been one to enjoy doing anything I have to do. It's not to say I don't need or appreciate structure. When it comes to things I love or things I'm passionate about, I don't want to be told I have to do it. Make sense?

So needless to say, I stopped calling my runs between races, training runs. I instead started calling them runs. "I'm going to to go out for a run." And I'll go for as long as I want to or for as short as I want to. I'll do as many hills as I want to and so on. Now keep in mind, that race I registered for is in the back of my head so I know the ultimate goal. But even that doesn't really factor into why I run. 

There was a moment during the San tan scramble 50k that I realized my potential when it comes to trail running that sticks out in my head. I was alone on the trail smiling, experiencing misery and joy at the same time. I was in pain, my legs hurt and my side was cramping but I kept smiling. I loved it. I knew just like I knew during Ragnar a while back that this is what I was meant to do. I knew finally that this is something I can actually be great at. I put in the hardwork and experience the pain and misery, shed the tears and sweat sweat sweat. Once I get to the top of that mountain I can look out over the valley and think "I did it and I never gave up." 

Getting to the top of that mountain and never giving up are things I can teach my kids. That's another thing I run for, my children. They're always with me. 

I don't know where I'm going with this story. I look back at everything that's happened that has lead me to this very moment and I think to myself that even through those horrible moments, I'm very thankful for them. I wouldn't be the person I am today without being shaped in that fire.